


Moon Over Stars

by IkkeDu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, M/M, i wanted to kill some tropes lmao, i've always wanted to write a space fic, james and remus are also bffs, sirius and lily are bffs, sorry for being such a bad teammate, team destination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-12-27 08:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21115619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IkkeDu/pseuds/IkkeDu
Summary: On the Starship Phoenix, two former lovers unite. First Officer Lupin is not thrilled about this, whatsoever. But Lieutenant Sirius Black just wants answers.Will they work it out before arriving to their mission destination or part ways again with no resolution?





	Moon Over Stars

**Author's Note:**

> "Moon Over Stars" is the futuristic version of "Head Over Heels"

STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 17

  
  


“Lieutenant Black, could you please stop harassing First Officer Lupin?” Commander Lily Evans had found his new hiding space in Jefferies Tube 27. She crawled through the tube, stopping two feet away from him.

Lieutenant Sirius Black looked from the relay station he was slowly examining towards Commander Evans, “Harassing? How am I harassing him, Lils?” He asked innocently.

Commander Evans sighed. “You know how,  _ Lieutenant _ .”

Sirius never understood why Lily always had to address him formally when they were in uniform. They had been best friends since they were eight: no need for this formality twenty-one years into their friendship. Starfleet Protocol be damned.

“Lils,” she glowered at him. “I mean,  _ Commander Evans _ , I'm only trying to get him to talk to me about why he just left me outta the blue last year!” he huffed out.

“He didn’t tell me anything specific, but I could tell he was very annoyed by your constant pursuit of him.”

He scoffed loudly, “I am not  _ pursuing! _ I just want answers he is refusing to give!”

Lieutenant Sirius “Heartbreaker” Black was well-known throughout the galaxy for his inability to commit to a relationship. Then one day Remus Lupin fell into his lap for a few months. At first, their relationship was a strange, touchless dance. They talked and laughed, but every time Sirius went to hold Remus, he shied away. It went on for weeks until Remus initiated contact. from that point on, they were physically inseparable until the day they went to visit the Garden Planet of Saigon, where Remus shattered his heart.

That day, Sirius was going to confess his love for the other man, the stars had other plans.

“Commander Lils, it was different. With him. With Remus,” he looked over at her, softly, “I mean, I have never felt truly safe with someone romantically before I met him! I think, well, I knew I loved him last year, but now I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should let him go. He isn’t worth it. He fucking takes you to the biggest garden in the galaxy and then says, ‘I never want to see you again?’” Lily was angry. She had been since Sirius sent her a comm last year about the situation. When she was personally requested by Starfleet Admirals to the Chief Security Officer she had accepted without asking who else was on the mission: she was too excited to think straight. When she finally regathered herself, she realized Remus Lupin, breaker of her best friend’s heart was First Officer, she wanted to deny it. But she couldn’t. She wanted answers, too. Or to choke him. She hadn’t decided.

“No,’ he said sharply, “We have been on this ship for seventeen days and every time I see him in the mess, or the corridors, he leaves! Two days ago, I went to fix a relay on the bridge, he just about-faced and left! Lily! He left the bridge without asking Captain Shacklebolt first!”

She let out a small laugh. “Oh, woe! The insubordination!”

“It’s not funny! He really is avoiding me!” He threw down the plasma wrench he was holding. “I just want the opportunity to speak with him about all of this! I try and send him direct comms, but after I told him I still think of him everyday, he blocked me! Can the First Officer block comms? How is that safe and functional for the crew as a whole?”

“Listen," she said flatly, "he came to my station and asked me to talk to you.”

“ _ Officially? _ ” That wouldn’t look good on his already blemished record.

“Unofficially,” she clarified. “It wouldn’t be logged anywhere. Okay? Lupin just wants peace and quiet.”

Sirius scoffed. Peace and Quiet? In this galaxy!?  _ Pffffft! _

She picked the plasma wrench up, fiddling with it before gently placing it back in his kit. “I want to know why, too, Siri, but we gotta let this all play out longer. Gotta make him sweat. I could talk to some of his oldest colleagues. Or even Admiral McGonagall; I know she has a soft spot for him.”

“Okay.” he said calmly. “I, I just wish that I hadn’t made so many mistakes before him, and garnered a bad rep. Maybe that's why he left me.”

“Sweetie, I doubt that.” Lily knew that to be true, and she tried to make Sirius understand that everyday.

Mistakes. Mistakes. Mistakes. Sirius sure did make an abundance of mistakes before being offered the Phoenix Mission on a titanium platter. From the time he could talk back to his parents; to the time he experimentally rewired a space drone that went haywire destroying a subspace communications buoy in the process; or the time he needed affection but went about it in all the wrong ways through half their Academy yearbook. Mistakes were made. And he did learn from all those mistakes, but sometimes mistakes were not forgivable or forgettable as he learned. It had been a year since he last saw Remus and Sirius was always trying to tell himself it wasn’t his fault, but ever since he was a child, he took everything that went wrong in life and internalized it as his own fault.

“Concoct your investigation and get back to me, Security Chief Evans.” He said lovingly.

“I will,” and with that she crawled her way out of Jefferies Tube 27.

It would be days before she had intel for Sirius about First Officer Lupin.

  
  
  


STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 26

When Lily called Sirius to her quarters one evening, she had some “hot gossip” for him.

“Gossip, Lils? Really? You are basically third in command on this ship and you come to me with ship  _ gossip _ ?!” He looked at her from across their replicated pineapple pizza date and huffed. “You are a woman of law, of order, of ass-kicking, of science, reason, deduction, reduction, seduction, other types of -duction, and you got hot gossip from some crewman!?”

She nodded giddly, “Not just any crewman: Lupin’s best friend, Lieutenant Commander Potter!” She shoved the pizza in her mouth, limbs moving frantically. 

Lieutenant Commander James Potter had a crush on Lily. Everyone on the ship knew it. Everyone to have ever worked with Potter knew it. Potter practically followed Evans everywhere in the galaxy. Some people thought Potter’s apparent obsession creepy, but Sirius knew it wasn’t as clear-cut as it seemed. Potter was the top Astrophysicist of their generation. He was sought after by every Starfleet crew, scientist, and explorer. But he always ended up on the same ship with Commander Lily Evans. Why? Because she had final say as Chief Security Officer to the crew manifest. 

She used his feelings for her for her own personal gain. Sneaky. 

If the intel came from Potter, it wasn’t gossip. “Uhh, so what’s Potter saying about Lupin?” Sirius tried to play it cool.

“Potter says that Lupin might have commitment issues!” She locked eyes with Sirius. “Odd, huh.”

Sirius was shocked. An outstanding officer like Lupin didn’t seem to have a commitment problem with flying to the farthest colony from Earth II known to humankind. Lupin didn’t seem to fear the commitment of being second-in-command of said one-way trip. But professional and personal commitments were entirely different things.

“So, like, do you think he thought this through? This ship is going to the newly-found Mortogo System to stay, probably indefinitely, and Lupin has commitment issues? This mission is the biggest commitment any of us will make! Not picking a spouse, or picking between the six possibly habitable planets to start our colonies, or what we packed of our cultural heritages’, or the last remnants of Earth I. But this mission of possibly never going back towards the planets we have expanded to and through as a species for the last four hundred years?”

She looked at him blankly. True, this was the furthest humanity had travelled in the galaxy. But every generation said that with each new discovery of habitable worlds. Humanity had expanded so far, they were near one of the edges of the galaxy. The last solar system before vast emptiness.

The Mortogo System.

“I think,” she said slowly, taken aback by her friend’s outburst, “People can still be battling internal strife while making strides in life outwardly. For the sake of our entire existence, there is a difference between choosing a lover and volunteering for a mission that could benefit all thirty billion humans.”

He sighed. He knew. He understood. Starfleet was the crux of humanity: The final call to action of their dying origin planet. The connector of the thirty billion homosapians spread across one-hundred and twenty-seven planets in sixty-three solar systems. Of course Lupin would volunteer for something so significant and yet still have romantic doubts.

“Okay,” he conceded, “So anything else?”

She told him all Potter told her. What planet he grew up on (Cardiff), what he studied throughout school (Atmospheric Chemistry), how he rose through the ranks of Starfleet (created the terraforming technology used on barren planets). 

“Oh shit! I didn’t know that was him!” Sirius was flabbergasted. That was the breakthrough of the century. “Whole shit! And I only got a place on this mission because of you, Lils!”

It was true. Sirius probably would have stayed a lowly engineer technician at Starfleet Command on Oslo if not for his best friend writing him in on the crew manifest (with Captain Shacklebolt’s approval, of course). Now he was just a lowly engineer on the Phoenix.

“Yeah, anyway, James also told me that Lupin cried when he left you that day under the Plum Blossoms. Said,” she tried for her best Potter impression, “‘Remus never cries, but I think he was totally into Black. But, I dunno. I dunno.’” 

Something took hold of Sirius’ mind, “What if, he doesn’t have commitment issues like Potter thinks, maybe he has something like I do; trust issues.”

Lily nodded in agreement, “Could be.”

“Like, we all know I am not known to be the most honest and forthcoming person. I like to keep people at an emotional distance so they don’t break my heart like he did. Even though I did keep him at a distance, he still broke my damn heart. Messed up, huh?” Sirius started to tear up. “Maybe he, maybe he used me!”

“No, no, no, no, no! Do not think like that, Sirius! That can’t be true! Potter said he cried! Cried! No one cries after leaving a lover that they only wanted for sex!” She got up from her place at the table to hold Sirius, “Don’t think like that! That’s the childhood trauma talking!”

He knew that. He knew. He knew.

“So, what is your plan to get him in the same room with me for a conversation?” He let Lily continue to hold him as she told him a plan.

STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 31

The starship Phoenix and her crew of over a thousand were finally settled into their routines to the relief of Command. First Officer, Commander Remus Lupin didn’t have to run hither and fro every seven seconds to solve crewmen problems. He could rest for at least ten seconds now.

Alas, First Officer, Commander Lupin had been avoiding one crewmen in particular: Engineering Lieutenant Black. He was dodging him like a perfectly choreographed ballet. When they first boarded the ship, Black tried to corner him in the mess hall to discuss their previous relationship fallout. Remus said he had urgent matters on the bridge and left. Black also tried to send him direct communiques. So, Remus blocked his ability to do so. Against protocol? Yes. Necessary? No. That didn’t stop him from silencing Black, however. Remus knew it wasn't right to treat a crewman like that because they were an ex. But he refused to deal with Sirius. He couldn’t.

Lupin knew the crew schedule, knew when routine maintenance was being conducted and by whom, he knew nearly all the comings and goings of the crew. It was just the way he liked it: nearly complete control.

No one had full control, he had to remind himself everyday. And controlling others was not tolerated. That was how Earth I was no more.

Remus did have control over his own life and his own actions. He always took measures others would deem unsuitable, sometimes even cruel, to retain the control he had in his own affairs. A swift solution to a raging problem was Remus’ best kept secret. Even if that swift solution was complete avoidance to the raging problem of Sirius Black's desperation for answers.

Commander Lupin continued his rounds through the decks; checking in with every department leader. The well-crafted ship was running smoothly, after all it was being maintained by the best crew Starfleet had to offer. The Phoenix was given her name for being built from repurposed parts of dozens of ships throughout the centuries. 

_ “Recycled from the parts of old ships that brought our forebearers through the stars, recounting the tales of the now-extinct bird rising from the ashes of her death to be reborn, we shall name this fine ship,  _ The Phoenix.”

Remus had been on the ship the day of the first launch: A mission to the Moons of Seoul to retrieve a vaccine the Scientists of Seoul had discovered to treat solar radiation poisoning. It was a day that went down in the history of humanity. 

And Remus was there! He had been there!! He was handpicked by the original Phoenix captain to retrieve the formula for input into the Starfleet database!!! The elation he felt as a lowly ensign tasked with such a momentous endeavor was more rewarding than the glee he felt when everything fell into place  _ perfectly. _

Remus had many life-changing moments after that, but the one that stood out the most to him was falling in love with that constantly chaotic, unbridled engineer, Sirius Black.

His dalliance with him was supposed to be just that: a dalliance. A brief affair of two lovers. Nothing quite as, uh,  _ serious _ , as the relationship turned out. 

Remus' goals were clear to him from the start: Satisfy the latent longing to do something seemingly reckless and unpredictable whilst still have control over what could and should go down. Simple. Effective. Satisfying. Over.

It was not over. At first, Remus was in control. Too controlled, he told himself every night after leaving Sirius high and dry.  _ Relent just a bit. He won’t hurt you!  _ It was hard for Remus to trust anyone intimately; but this was his plan all along!! To let someone in! Even if it was just a physically satisfying relationship, he needed to work on his issues full force. Some would say he should go to therapy, but that would have required him opening up to someone. And that might end up on his unblemished Starfleet record. He could tell James, but he didn’t want to burden his friend like that.

After Remus relented control over his body, his mind followed suit. He started to constantly think of Sirius as more than just a lover and wanted to constantly be around him.  _ That wasn’t the plan! _ One day, he woke up and thought.  _ Oh! I love him!  _

Love was uncontrollable. Love was hasty; rude; unpredictable; hotter than dual stars of Dakar; love was bullshit; love was what Remus was in. Love didn’t make sense to him; he couldn’t fall in love with someone he was only supposed to  _ use!  _ So he had to leave Sirius behind. 

“Not love. Not love. Not love. Not love. A test to my ability to remain in control. Not love. Not love.”

No matter the frequency of the false affirmations, he couldn’t believe his lies. He truly loved that mess of a man. He would see Black and bolt. Sometimes he would go back to his quarters to gather his thoughts into order, but most of the time, he went to the hydroponics bay and sat among the flowers and crops to think about how he left Sirius Black under the plum blossoms like some cruel scoundrel of so-called romance novels. 

It was all a mistake. A mistake he had to keep rationalizing:  _ at least know you know what love is now. You know how it feels to be moon over stars for someone. _

He willed himself not to cry in the hydroponics bay; he couldn’t be seen crying near the ship’s carrot crop supply by some random ensign. After all, gossip traveled at Warp 20.

Regaining his senses, Remus asked the Computer to locate Lieutenant Black.

The Computer chirped, “Lieutenant Sirius Black is in the mess hall. Lieutenant Regulus Black is on the bridge.” Remus cursed to himself. He forgot about the younger brother Sirius Black was unable to leave any spaceport without. Remus had to work alongside him for nearly eight hours a day. The younger brother never brought up the elder brother to Remus’ face, but he did side-eye him at least three times an hour.

He thanked the computer and went to leave to continue rounds when the door  _ swooshed  _ open to reveal Sirius Black. He swore louder to himself. The computer must be malfunctioning. He’ll have to have a chat with Commander Longbottom.

“Hello, Commander Lupin,” Lieutenant Black said coolly. He stepped in letting the door close behind him. “I really wish to speak with you on something.”

Remus felt like he was being intentionally trapped. “Engineering or….?” he let the sentence fall. He knew it was an OR type of talk.

"Firstly, are you going to write me up for harassing a senior officer?" Sirius asked lightly.

Remus shook his head. No one else needed to know about this. "Very well,"

“I really want to know,” Lieutenant Black started softly, averting his eyes to the yellow tulips growing by the doors, “Why you are avoiding me, I mean, it’s been a year since Saigon, but never mind…. I know you will not say, so I am going to tell you how I feel, instead.” He looked over at Remus to try and read his expression. But Remus was a master of stoicism. “Nearly everyone in the galaxy knows that Sirius Black, Engineer, is known to be easy to sleep with no strings attached. It’s true,” Remus had made a face trying to counter the truth, “Don’t give me that look. And everyone knows I have severe fucking trust issues thanks to my parents and that evil Earth I purist, Tom Riddle… But that doesn’t mean I am completely unable to let my guard down sometimes, with some people.”

“Like Lily Evans?” Remus asked softly.

“Like with you.”

Remus kept his face neutral. “Oh,” was his response. He wanted to say something, something he knew he should. Was it too late? Could he tell Sirius the truth? Or was the truth too cruel told to late? Throughout human history, people have known the truth could hurt more than a lie. He did love Sirius. He did. What kind of future could they have? Sirius: A man floating through space literally, and figuratively, to the next ship with his little brother and best friend always making sure he had a job regardless of his history. Remus: A man with grandiose achievements and even grander aspirations for the galaxy he was unwilling to let go of, no matter the cost to his own personal life. 

They would never work out. 

“I know I always seem callously aloof; it’s a defense mechanism I learned as a child. I didn’t adjust well to Starfleet as well as Regs and Lils.” Sirius let out a forced laugh. Understatement of the damn millenia, he started to slowly circle the tulip tank, avoiding the emotionless stare Remus was giving him. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t take my life, my Starfleet career, all these second chances, for granted! I like to live in the now! I like to feel things as they come! I’ve never wanted to settle down with anyone. I just  _ go  _ and  _ be.  _ I know what you’ve heard about me. I know that’s probably the true reason why you left me. You probably thought, ‘Should end it now before he does.` But I don’t understand why you said, ‘I never want to see you again.’ And then leave me. I never cheated on you. I never lied to you! So why say that?! And now you avoid me on this ship! I may be fucked up but I’m not the one going around the galaxy with the wiring of a mining android.” Sirius turned to stare Remus in the eyes as he said the last two words.

A direct hit.

A dark look cut across Remus’ face, “That’s too far, Black.”

“Yeah?” Sirius challenged, “But it’s true! The whole time we were together- nine weeks, which isn’t long, but it sure felt like forever with you- you always seemed to be maintaining a distance from me. You, you… Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. I’m being insensitive to  _ your  _ feelings.”

Sirius took a step closer to the First Officer, they were only two feet away. The same distance they were when Remus said he wished to never see Sirius again.

“What I’m trying to say is that no matter how you may feel about me or why you unceremoniously left me to wallow under those trees, I do care dearly for you. It may not seem like it, but I do have strong romantic feelings for you, Remus Lupin.”

Sirius took a step closer towards Remus, “Please say something,”

Remus couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He took a step back and looked away before he could see the hurt on the other man’s face.

Blast this reckless man and his reckless words! Two sides of Remus were in a battle of wits: the part of him that wanted to embrace him eternally and apologize! Remus wanted to tell him that he did love him! He loved him so much! Ah! Oh the stars! Did he want to tell him  _ everything!  _ Even if Sirius never forgave him. He needed to tell him! The truth of one man is different than the truth of another.

"I, I," flailing emotionally, losing the calmness that always seemed to keep Remus in check for years, he ran past Sirius and into the corridor. 

As he ran, he called to the bridge, “Lupin to the Captain, I need to report to medical for personal matters.”

_ Coward!!  _ He thought to himself,  _ Imbecile!! _

Within five minutes of running to sickbay, Doctor Bones (an unfortunate name for a doctor, honestly), had diagnosed him with a mild panic attack.

“Panic? Me?” he asked her, heart racing, tears rolling down, arms shaking.

She administered the hypospray, “Yeah, not uncommon among high-strung individuals like yourself, Remus.”

“I’m not high-strung!” he guffawed. 

She side-eyed him. “Says the youngest first officer in history.”

Unable to contradict her due to the effect of the hypospray, he relented for the first time in a long time.

Doctor Bones allowed him to stay in sickbay for the remainder of the evening. He borrowed tablet from her and unblocked Sirius Black.

He sent him a comm:  _ I know it’s a lot to ask, but please give me time. _

The reply was instant:  _ I can work with that. _

STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 45

Every night since the day in Hydroponics, Remus and Sirius would meet in the mess hall for dinner. They would sit and talk about their days, their childhoods and what they hoped to find on the edge of the galaxy.

Remus refused to burden Sirius with the knowledge that he loved him. 

Sirius knew Remus was hiding something from him, but he was nowhere near the truth. Sometimes Sirius thought Remus might be in love with someone else not aboard the ship and just tolerated Sirius for whatever reason. 

Lily tried to assure him, “If Remus had a partner, they would be on this ship with him! He would have made sure of that! I even checked the pre-flight logs myself to see if he requested anyone specific, but no! He didn’t even request for his father to come with him!”

Remus had been talking to Doctor Bones, Amelia, has he now called her, about his inability to relinquish the need to constantly have everything in order. For everything to be absolutely perfect. Everything needs to be  _ perfect!  _

She told him he suffered from anxiety and a compulsive-type of disorder and ordered him to hang out with her twice a week. He knew that hanging out with her was just therapy. The so-called hanging out was going well, too well. He almost told her about his feelings for Sirius.

Remus didn’t understand why he couldn’t confess. Why did he feel like confessing his love for someone like ending something else? It wasn’t like Sirius could really leave him! There were stuck together on this ship and would probably be stuck in the Mortogo System, too. Love was fucking absurd! He should tell Sirius! But what if Sirius’ did not love him back?

He still felt like all his feelings were going to erupt out of him like a solar flare at the most inopportune time. He went back to his shared quarters with James Potter and let Truth out of her well.

“Foolish me! I am in love with Sirius Black!” James only blinked at him after he confessed, “Well, why aren’t you saying anything?”

James cracked a grin. “Damn. So you’ve admitted it to yourself, huh.”

“What do you mean?” Remus was taken aback.

“You were just moon over stars for him when you were together. I know you hide things better than a blackhole, but I can read you better than I can read the stars. When your mom passed, you didn’t cry-”

“It was her time,”

“Bullshit! When Peter died in that freak piloting accident, you didn’t cry! And he had been your friend longer than I had! I bawled for days over Pete! But when you break-up with your first, I dunno- was he your first boyfriend?” James questioned as Remus nodded. “Okay, so break-up with your first boyfriend of months, you come back to the planet and  _ just weep. _ That’s odd, mate. And I asked you if he broke your heart, but you said that you did the heartbreaking!”

True. It was all true.

“I can’t tell him I broke up with him because I love him. That is lunacy.” Remus turned away from his friend, “I don’t know why I can’t just let everything out! Amelia says I’m repressing things! She’s right but that is nobody's business!”

James removed himself from their sofa and placed himself by his best friend’s side. “Something happen as a kid? You always shy away when people try to touch you. Even a handshake. Remember when we met at that summer camp on Warsaw and I went to shake your hand and you just _looked _at it!?” James tried for a soft laugh. “Or when Marlene hugged you after the the Android Games and you just _recoiled? _Something is bothering you, mate, and you don’t seem to want to talk about it.”

Remus took in a deep, shaky breath. James was right. Something had been bothering him for fifteen years but he had never told a soul. Not even his kind and loving parents

“Something happened, yes.” Remus took in another shaky breath, “You can’t tell anyone, please!”

“You know I won’t. Your my best mate! I love you from here to Earth I! That’s 25,000 light years!” James forced out a soft laugh. 

So Remus told him about the instructor that took advantage of his trust attacked him when he was a teenager and how after that, he refused to let anyone touch him again. “Maybe that’s why I’ve always had the desperate desire to be in Command: so I can make sure my power and the power of my peers isn’t misused.”

He turned to James. James looked like he was going to throw up. “What--what was his name?” James asked through gritted teeth. 

Remus knew James wouldn’t stop at nothing to have that man arrested for life, or thrown into The Void.

Remus smiled softly at him, “Don’t worry, he died. He was on Tom Riddle’s ship when it exploded.”

Poetic Justice.

“Mate, now that I know, I don’t know what to say. If my mom were here she’d hug you and I am my mother’s son. But, I cannot ‘cause I know  _ why  _ I just can’t hug you.”

“James, you can hug me. Just always warn me, okay?”

And with that, James pulled Remus into a hug so strong and warm, Remus felt he would melt.

“Are you gonna repeat this to Evans?” Remus whispered into his best friend’s shoulder. She might need to know this to put in his file. 

“Fuck no! But you could tell Doctor Bones. Or even Sirius. He is mooning for you desperately.”

Remus resolved to tell Sirius the next evening. Instead of their usual mess hall date, he invited him to his quarters. James agreed to leave for the night, (he made plans with Lily on the observation deck).

  
  


STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 46

_ The Phoenix  _ was making excellent time to the Mortogo System. The expected duration of the journey was sixty days, factoring in any warp core mishaps or unforeseen spatial anomalies.

“In three days time, we should arrive on the outer rim of the system.” Captain Shacklebolt had informed the crew over the comm system on the forty-sixth day of their journey. “We will follow procedure and try to make contact with any other life forms first before continuing through. If no life is found, we will conduct surveying missions. Away teams will be assigned based upon initial scans. Please look forward to helping write the next great chapter in human history!”

Applause could be heard echoing off every bulkhead of the ship. The crew were ecstatic.

Remus was on the verge of completely losing his cool.

There were only three hours of his duty shift to go before he would meet Sirius in his quarters to inform of, a) his love for him, and b) his childhood trauma.

His nerves were  _ wracked!  _ His vision was blurred! He couldn’t focus on the nebula readings James had sent to his tablet. The whole bridge seemed to dissolve before his very eyes.

“Sir, sir, you look ill.” Remus was pulled out of his daze by Sirius.

“Sirius?” Actually, he looked like Sirius but his hair was shorter and his eyes were blue, not grey. His duty uniform was gold. And the scowl on his face said he did not like to be confused with his brother.

“Incorrect,  _ sir.  _ I am Regulus; the smart Black.” he gave the First Officer a knowing smirk.

Remus liked Regulus. He was always putting his best foot forward, thinking abstractly to solve some of the strangest problems space threw at them. Most importantly, Regulus liked to be in control, too.

“Sorry, Lieutenant. What’s the problem?” Regulus never bothered Remus unless it was official business.

“Nothing really. I was going to ask you if you were alright. You seem to have displaced your head today.”

Personal matters were never discussed on the bridge. And if they were, Remus never heard them. “That’s irrelevant.”

“Oh, is it?” Regulus challenged, “You’ve been so wrapped up in your head today that you didn’t notice the captain leaving the bridge or when Lieutenant Prewett reported for helms duty! You’ve been kinda catanoic, sir.”

Lieutenant Black was right. Remus did not have his head on the bridge today. He was only thinking of what to say to Sirius that night. Could he admit that to the younger brother of his affections? Or did Regulus already know.

“What do you think is in the best interest of the bridge crew today, Lieutenant Black?” Remus usually gave orders, never asked for suggestions.

Regulus’ eyebrows shot up, “Are you asking what I think you should do?!”

Remus nodded.

“You should relieve yourself of duty and think about what you need to think about in your quarters before you see my brother!” A ballsy answer.

So, Regulus did know.

“Very well, I relieve myself of duty and place you, Lieutenant Regulus Black in Command until Captain Shaklebolt returns or when Chief Security Officer Evans comes by.”

Remus removed himself from the Captain’s chair and gestured for the younger man to sit down.

The whole crew was staring at Remus as he made his way off the bridge and into the turbolift. “Did that just happen?” he heard one ensign ask as the doors  _ swooshed  _ shut.

When Remus made his way into his quarters, he didn’t bother replicating lunch, or thinking of what to say, he stripped off his uniform and flopped down on his bed to sleep.

He was rudely awoken hours later by the chimes of his door. 

_ Oh shit! Sirius! _

He jumped out of the cocoon of blankets and bolted to open the door. There was Sirius, beautiful as ever, hair flowing down over a nice black shirt and holding a bonsai tree with thick, pink flowers.

Remus, on the other side of the door was only wearing his undershorts, curly hair disheveled, with crusty bits of sleep in his eyes. “Sirius,” he croaked out, “I feel asleep. I am sorry.”

“You feel asleep or you fell asleep?” he asked, amusingly, “May I still come in?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” He couldn’t let anyone else on the ship see him looking so unkempt. He gestured for Sirius to come in and quickly closed the door.

Sirius looked around the room before asking Remus where he could set down the tree.

“Oh, the dining table would suffice. What is it? Did you replicate it.”

Sirius set the tree down on the table and turned to Remus, “Oh, this old thing? No, I’ve had it for a year now. I, umm, bought it on Saigon…. After, after you left.” Sirius looked back towards the plant and away from Remus.

_ Oh, oh no _ _ . _ _ !  _

“Listen, I know what I did was wrong and I want to apologize and tell you some things! Please, just let me explain!”

Sirius gave Remus a soft smile, “That’s what I’m here for. Do you want to spruce up first?” Sirius gestured towards Remus’ near nakedness.

Remus had completely blanked on his appearance, “Oh! Right! Be a moment,”

He left Sirius in the living quarters and went back into his room. He didn’t have many articles of clothing that screamed, “I’m sorry lover! Please let me make excuses to my shitty behavior!” So, he matched Sirius and put on a black sweater.

When he came back out, Sirius was sitting at the table with a bottle of replicated juice and two glasses. “I heard from Potter that you liked lemonade.”

“You heard correctly,” he sat down as Sirius poured him a glass. 

“Cheers,” they clinked their glasses and sipped in silence.

The silence was awkward. Usually, Remus liked silence, but that’s not why Sirius was here: To sit in silence and drink lemonade.

“What kind of bonsai is it?” he finally asked.

“ _ Camellia Japonica _ . Or Tsubaki in Old Japanese.” Sirius sighed, “I’ve never seen such a glorious flower plant. Maybe if I had seen this plant before going into engineering, I’d be a botanist instead. I bought it when I was waiting for the next transport off Saigon. The gardener told me it was nearly one hundred years old.”

“Never too late for a change, if that’s what you want.” Remus reached out and touched Sirius arm. “About your Speciality or about us.”

Sirius looked taken aback, “Do you not want to talk about what happened last year anymore?”

“No, no! That’s not what I meant! I’m, I'm just fumbling words now. I  _ do  _ want to tell you some things. But, it’s so hard for me to confide in people!”

Sirius looked like he was trying not to take it personally. Afterall, Remus  _ was  _ trying to be more open that he had even seen him before. “I understand, tell me when you can. Even if it’s not tonight. Just tell me you won’t go intentionally breaking my heart again.”

“I swear it, Sirius! I do! I want to tell you a menagerie of things but there is one thing I should tell you tonight, for certain! Remus set his glass down and placed his second hand on Sirius’ other hand. “It makes no sense considering what I did after I realized it. I don’t expect forgiveness or understanding. I just  _ need  _ to tell you.”

Sirius didn’t say a word. Only looked at him more lost than usual. “Whatever you have to say, I will make sure to process it fully before I forgive you…. If it’s even that bad.”

Forcing the words out before he could lie to himself again, he said it, “I love you Sirius Black. I do. I have never been in love with anyone before you and I haven’t since. I’m not the best at processing emotions due to a childhood trauma I will tell you about eventually, but for now, I just want to tell you that the realization that I loved you was too much for me. The thought of the complexities of a long-term relationship made me abandon ship before it even launched!”

He ripped his hands away from Sirius’ and placed them over his eyes as he began to weep.

Before the tears could roll down his cheeks, Sirius had taken him into a hug. “I love you, too, you silly fool.” he placed a kiss on his old lover’s head and held him as he violently wept.  
  
  


STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 63

The Starship Phoenix had finally entered the Mortogo System. The crew had a massive party before exploration began. 

Remus and Sirius had confessed their love for one another and were now the hot gossip of the ship.

That was, until, news of Lieutenant Commander Potter and Chief Security Officer Evans were caught in a heated embrace under the Astrometrics System.

“Bet anyone that Evans and Potter will be the first to procreate in the Mortogo System!” One cheeky ensign had wagered the entire ship.

Remus and Sirius were set to explore a moon composed of water the next day. The long-range scan had indicated the air was breathable for humans; the water was simple H20, but bacterial tests needed to be run. And there was also the curious case of the ten perfectly round stones setting atop the water.

“No landmass has been found, but that doesn’t mean these ten stones were not part of some old geological anomaly or are the last remnants of an ancient society.” Commander Arthur Weasley had stated during their pre-mission briefing.

Arthur Weasley was an Anthropologist, tasked with the preservation of dead species and their old planets. Starfleet had run into six previously inhabited worlds and twenty-seven habited worlds. All six no-longer occupied worlds were protected under Starfleet orders. No one dared desecrate a planet where life wasn’t allowed to flourish. Not after Earth I was lost.

“So, Weasley, Black, Ted Tonks and I, will go down to this planet, check out the stones, test the water and report back.”

Captain Shacklebolt gave a nod of approval, but not before questioning why Sirius Black.

“Well, if these stones are being kept in place by something, we might need an engineer.” Remus assured him. 

  
  


STARFLEET VESSEL PHOENIX: EXPANSION MISSION TO THE MORTOGO SYSTEM: DAY 64

The shuttle was floating serenely on the water meters away from where Sirius and Remus were running scans on the stones.

Weasley and Tonks had decided to go for a swim, environmental suits on, of course, to test the waters deeper.

“They seem to be held into place by a gravity source I can’t identify.” Sirius’s tricorder was going haywire. “Ugh! This is absurd!” he tried to read what the tricorder was putting out. “Looks like the stone are made of a rock and metal compound we’ve never run across and the….the what now?” He turned his tricorder to the side.

“That’s not going to help you read it,” Remus interjected, taking his own tricorder readings. But both machines were going berserk. “Might have something to do with the core of the moon. We should run more scans in the shuttle.”

Remus hit his comm badge, “Weasley, Tonks, how goes it?”

His comm badge beeped back instantly,  _ “Well,” come Tonks’ voice, “there seems to be no life under here. The water is perfectly drinkable for humans. No bacteria detected. But the lack of life here freaks me out. Nearly every planet or moon has simple amoebas.” _

“Maybe it’s the stones. Maybe the gravitational pull wiped life out.” Sirius concluded.

_ “If that’s so, why do you think the stones are here?”  _ Weasley’s voice mused.  _ “To keep others away?” _

Remus didn’t have any answers, and neither did the other three. “Let’s run more scans and then rendezvous with  _ Phoenix.”  _ he concluded.

Three voices responded with an ‘aye, sir.’

Sirius was still running scans, three stones away. Remus hopped from one to the next to stand beside his lover. “Strange, huh?” he put his tricorder in his satchel and took Sirius’ hand.

“We’ve seen stranger, haven’t we?” Sirius asked, interlocking their fingers.

“Yeah, yeah we have. I just wish there was some writing around here we could spend eons trying to decipher for answers.”

Sirius smiled kindly at him, “You always want a logical explanation for everything.”

“Yes, but sometimes, that’s not what I need.” He turned to face Sirius, taking him into a hug, “Sometimes I just need you.”

“And I with you.” Sirius embraced him back and there they stood, two men on a strange moon on strange rocks holding each other like they were on the edge of forever.


End file.
